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Have you ever felt misunderstood, not heard, and couldn't seem to get your point across no matter what you said or how you said it?
Have you ever been horrified to hear yourself talk like your mother to your own children or partner after swearing you would never do that?
Have you ever witnessed confusion in others when they couldn't see your point of view?
Miscommunication is one of the greatest relationship concerns occurring in today's society. Learning an effective way to communicate is one of the greatest gifts of personal empowerment that Neuro
Linguistic Programming (NLP) has to offer.
NLP is a communication and behavioural tool that is comprised of techniques, models, and processes that are effective in assisting you to get more of what you want in your life.
Neuro refers to your nervous system, where thoughts and emotions originate
Linguistic refers to the language and the words you use to describe yourself, your behaviour, and your experiences
Programming refers to your past experiences, environmental influences, and the beliefs and values that are created as a result
NLP presupposes that behaviour can be changed, re-programmed.
By changing your words, thoughts, emotions and actions it is also possible to change unhealthy unwanted behaviours..similar to how new software changes the way a computer functions.
NLP helps to examine the relationship between the words you use and the thoughts, reactions and even the results they lead to.
In the mid 1970's Richard Bandler and John Grinder founded NLP after studying the strategies of various people who were succeessful in helping others get more of what they wanted in their lives. They modelled these successful strategies and designed a way to teach others how to use similar methods for positive change. NLP increases the possibilities and opportunities to move towards having success in all areas of your life: athome, at work, with clients, friends, and especially with yourself.
Everyone spends time thinking about one thing or another. The tapes that play in your head and the way you think ultimately affects the way you see, make choices, and live in the world. This perspective then leads to the creation of your personal experiences, some of which are pleasant some not so pleasant. For example there's a story of two men being behind prison bars one looked out and saw mud, the other looked up and saw stars.
Where do you spend your time looking? Which thoughts feel better?
Thoughts, values, and beliefs are the force behind the attitudes and behaviour patterns that may no longer be supporting the true soulful essence of who you really are. When this awareness and knowingness creates discomfort do you get motivated by moving away from the heat of what you don't want, or by moving towards the light shining on what you do want?
Do you ever find yourself focusing and paying too much attention to what's not working in your life?
Have you ever wondered how to communicate more effectively with your partner, co-worker, or clients so that they really hear you and understand?
Does it ever feel like your partner is behaving as if they're from Mars, or maybe Venus?
Ways to use NLP to enhance the soul of relationships:
learn ways to increase joy, understanding, and harmony with all of your personal and business relationships, and in your relationship with yourself
learn how to change unwanted behaviours to ones that reflect the soul essence of who you truly are
learn how to communicate more effectively and watch all of your relationships improve
enhance your teaching methods whether in person or by teleclass, by being able to speak to others in their own language
add to your coaching skills save time and energy with clear communication
discover what words to use to get the greatest response with all of the four NLP communication styles
discover what your communication style is, the one that you use most often to make decisions
learn how to listen for the communication style of others
bridge communication between your mind, heart, and soul
integrate and bring your heart and soul closer together
NLP COMMUNICATION MODEL
To understand how we take information into our neurology and how that effects our behavior, NLP has something called the "model of communication". It is based on the notion that we take in two million bits of information every second through our five senses, sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. At the same time, our conscious mind is only able take in 7 (plus or minus 2) bits of information.
In order to compensate for this vast difference (two million down to seven) the mind filters the events our senses take in by deleting, distorting and generalizing the information through our language, memories, attitudes, values, beliefs, decisions, etc. We then make an internal representation of the world we are taking in, with pictures, sounds and feeling. That puts us in a state of mind which can change our physiology that effects our behavior. All this happens in a fraction of a second and none of it has to happen in any particular order. We are in a constant state of flux, where our physiology can affect our attitudes just as easily as our behavior can affect our language.
This model is the basis of all NLP. If we did not delete, distort and generalize the events we take in, consciously we would be in sensory overload. It's the sensation of more things happening than you can handle, which can be quite overwhelming, can't it?
DELETE - This is when we omitting data or selectively paying attention to certain of our experience and not others. Think of a time when you were so engage in a conversion with someone that you were unaware of other events going on around you.
DISTORT - My friend Bob and I were one of the only men at a meeting where a women mentioned that male hypnotherapists should not work with women. Later as we talked about the event, Bob said he couldn't believe that the speaker said "men should not use hypnosis". That is not what was said, but that's what Bob's mind interpreted, even though it was not what was said. Distortions are when we misrepresent our reality
GENERALIZE - In the above example, the womens comment that male hypnotherapist should not work on women is a good example of generalization. It is putting ideas, people or things a convienant group or category, or drawing global conclusions.
Watch the filters you place your world in, for the world is never what we think it is. If we are taking in 2 million bits of information and only aware of around 7 bits, we are missing a lot.
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